This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize