Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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