you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
