you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
