There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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