i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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