I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize