PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
