I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
