I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
