dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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