she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
