Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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