I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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