Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
