are you still at the devil's house?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
