Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
