i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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