Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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