i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
