lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
