I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Cover your peen. We're going out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
