I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
