Slut skills are useful in every country.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
