I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
