Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
