the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
