Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
