Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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