walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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