You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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