I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
