I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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