I wanna passion pit in your ass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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