Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
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so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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