in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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