I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
