Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
