the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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