Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
