Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
