I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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