And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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