the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
