Whod you bang
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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