kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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