Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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