I wish I could punch you in the face.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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