I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
