I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
