bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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