That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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