I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize