The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
