38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
