i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
