I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dignity is for republicans.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
