you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
