I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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