are you still at the devil's house?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
