She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
